The Sorrows of VDay
by chewy1
Summary: Lily's having her doubts about the day of hearts, red, pink, and white. So what could change her opinion?


**Title:** The Sorrow's Of V-Day

**Disclaimer:** Characters and Places belong to J.K. Rowling, I only own the plot.

**Author's Note:** Ok, so I was in the mood for a Valentine's Day story, and this one came to me. I was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend today, and I hope you enjoy this little fic to keep you company until I update my other story! Thanks, please review!

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I was never a sucker for romance. I knew it would never happen to me, and I could live with that. What I couldn't live with, were the billions of "happy couples" that seemed to be everywhere on Valentine's Day. I felt that those happy people were put on the earth to make single people feel worse about being alone on Valentine's Day. I of course had given up hope on the holiday of hearts and smiles years ago when I was twelve. I was young, and didn't feel the need to look forward to nothing. 

Until an event in my seventh year, I still refused to celebrate Valentine's. It was a hallmark holiday, where people felt the need to flaunt the fact that they had someone. I had had plenty of boyfriends… OK, three. But to me, three was plenty; my last had been the year before, right before Christmas. After him, it felt that the only reason I would date a boy was to drive James Potter crazy. That's what Lily Evans loved to do; I loved to drive the one boy that I refused to date absolutely mad.

It was Valentine's Day when I was seventeen. I sat by myself in the Gryffindor Common room finishing the extra homework I had received that day. I was such a teacher's pet that I lived for the extra work. My mind wasn't focused on the Ancient Runes in front of me though, not with the couples around me all over each other. I had half the nerve to stand up and curse them all for ruining my study time. I did stand up, but instead of opening my mouth and being rewarded with the glares I was sure to get, I quietly began to pack up my things. Madame Pince was probably all alone in the library, and she was always good to talk to.

I had stood and packed my things, throwing my book bag over my shoulder and grabbing the pen I had forgotten to pack. I walked straight through the couples, rolling my eyes at them, why weren't they out on the grounds doing that? As I reached the Portrait Hole I turned around quickly before exiting yelling to the couples, "_Thank_-you for ruining _my_ day!" And with that, I hurried out, heading straight for the library.

Once inside I took a seat near the back and sighed deeply, peace at last. OK, so the Common Room had been quiet, but the constant kissing noises every once in awhile were getting to me. Although I had given up on the idea of having an enjoyable Valentine's Day, it still bugged me. Sitting in the silent library didn't work as well as I thought it would. It was _too_ quiet, even for me. So I continued to sit there, tapping my quill against the wooden table I was seated at, staring at the stained-glass window in front of me, beside the tall bookshelf.

"Hello dear, studying on a night like tonight? Don't you have anyone special to be with? It seems like all the students are out gallivanting, playing kiss-face," Madame Pince questioned from behind me. I looked up before quickly standing, taking some of the books from the librarian. Madame Pince nodded gratefully, saying a small "thank-you" to me. I nodded back to her, holding the three books close to me.

I followed her along to the Restricted Section of the library, looking at the binds of the books as we went. "How did all of these books get out of here?" I questioned, continuing to follow the woman to the back of the section. I looked down curiously at the three books in her arms: _Potions; Dangerous and Deadly, Animagus; The Secret to Transforming,_ and _A World of Deadly Creatures_. I felt myself nearly drop the books as I read the titles, "Who would _need_ these books?"

Madame Pince shrugged in front of me, "They were found sitting in a secret passage this morning. Whoever's been looking into these will be in a hint of trouble when they're found. These are some of the dodgier books in this section. Animagus transformations are terribly dangerous." I nodded, looking at the book I held about that subject. Who would want to try something like that at the low level of magic we had at this point in the year? "Now, you never answered, aren't you supposed to be gallivanting around with your other?"

I shrugged before answering, "I don't have an other, and I despise Valentine's Day." Shrugging again as the librarian pointed to a ledge under a shelf for me to put the books down. I looked at the titles of other books on the shelf, then down at the others in front of me, placing them in their rightful spots. I listened as the women standing beside me spoke. There was something about the young woman that made me want to listen to her words.

"There's nothing really to despise about the holiday, you just have to learn how to spend it," Madame Pince began. "You've got to get your friends together, the ones without anyone else of course. You get them together and you spend the day together. Don't do anything to slander the day, just relish the love in the air. Tell them how you feel about them; let them know that you care. I promise by the end of the day, you feel better. Now, it's probably too late to do that this year, but I'd look into it next year." She placed the last book in her pile on the shelf and turned to me.

"You're a beautiful young woman Lily, you'll find someone to spend your Valentine's Day with. Just keep in mind that you _are_ only seventeen. Don't grow up too fast." The librarian patted my shoulder softly before turning around and heading out of the section, "Come along dear, can't leave you in there alone without permission."

I nodded slowly; following the witch out and heading back to my secluded table, feeling the blush that had crept up my neck creep away again. "Madame… may I ask you something?" I questioned out of the blue, a few moments later. The woman nodded, taking a seat across from me. "Did you ever feel like ripping February 14th from the calendar when you were younger? I mean, you're still young but… did you?" I looked up, waiting for the witches reply. Perhaps it wasn't just me; maybe everyone had doubts about the heart day.

"Of course I did, it was my least favourite holiday! But even though it may seem like I spend it alone and I'm OK with it, although it still pulls at my heartstrings once in awhile. But I've got students that are dedicated to their homework to spend it with, and being alone isn't so bad; so I'm not as lonely as you'd think." Madame Pince smiled at me, giving me a small wink, her teeth nearly sparkling from her smile. I gave her a small smile in return, sitting back again and tapping my quill, thinking about her reply. Madame Pince stood then and went back to her office, saying a last "Have a good-day" to me. I smiled once more to her before beginning to pack my things for the second time that afternoon.

I left the library moments later; my book bag flung over my shoulder, open slightly where a book stuck out. I continued to walk, no sure where I was going, just walking. Everywhere my mind thought of going, it would contradict itself soon after with excuses such as: there will be couples snogging, or it'll be too quiet to concentrate. I was like anyone else when it came too schoolwork; I liked the quiet, but too much was like sitting in the solitary cells in a psyche ward.

So I continued to walk, walking until I tired my legs out and had to sit. I picked a rather cozy spot beside a window and curled up on the small stone ledge around it, staring out the window.

It had begun to snow; it fell in large flakes, landing against the cold window and melting every once in a while. I counted the flakes, "One, two, three, and four…." I sat there for what seemed an eternity, counting each separate snowflake that landed on the icy glass. I once heard that no two snowflakes are alike, but how can there be so many different designs? I tried to look closer at the flakes, comparing the designs, trying to find two the same. I failed miserably and sentenced myself to just staring out the window, thinking about the different designs.

There had to be at least one other snowflake falling that was similar to another, even on the other side of the world somewhere. How were people sure that each snowflake was different? How could they study it without it melting before they had a chance? I smiled wryly to myself, it wasn't very important, but it gave me something to think about. I loved the snow; I loved the feeling I got when the snow would fall, when the world seemed to stop just for a moment.

I stood quickly, grabbing my bag from the floor; I knew exactly where I was going to sit. I rushed quickly down the great staircase, only having to stop once when a staircase between the fourth and third floor corridors decided to move. As soon as it was in place again I continued to hurry, making my way outside into the night, and into the snow.

I let it fall on my face, covering me in its cold, softness. This was my heaven; I was surprised that even though it was my least favourite holiday, I felt content just standing by myself. It was comforting, to feel that I could be by myself and not feel lonely. I finally understood what Madame Pince had said to me, "being alone isn't as bad as it seems."

I dusted off a spot on a rock lining the Hogwarts Lake, looking out at the ice rink some students had made a few weeks ago. The snow had just begun to cover it, leaving a white haze over top. I suddenly felt myself smiling as I pulled my wand from my cloak pocket. I whispered my favourite charm and stood waiting until a pair of white figure skates flew towards me, stopping at my feet. I smiled and lifted them slipping off my boots and pulling on each skate, one at a time.

I slowly walked towards the lake and walked over the snow until I reached the edge of the shovelled out area. It was late afternoon and the sun had just begun to set over the horizon, setting a light orange glow through the clouds, shining off of the snow. I took a deep breath, trying to hold the picture inside me, memorizing every shadow, every snowflake. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

I stepped onto the cleared ice and let myself glide for a few seconds before moving myself along. It had been years since I had last skated, and to be on the ice again made me so calm I nearly fell over. I continued to skate around the oval rink, turning every once in a while, practicing the last routine I had done. I took a deep breath as I slowed down, closing my eyes and gliding across the rink.

I opened my eyes and stood for a moment as the last of the sun's rays hid behind the trees, taking the light with it and leaving me in darkness. I turned slowly, feeling the presence of another and looked to my right. I gasped at what I saw; there stood the boy that had been the reason for my annoyance during the first six years of my Hogwarts career.

I peered at him, taking in his slightly dishevelled appearance before glancing down at the objects he held close to his chest. He held two roses to his chest, one white, one red, and a candle sat on the ice beside his skate clad feet. I skated over to him, taking the roses he handed me, before taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere with your sweetie? Snogging and going on?" I asked a little harshly. I bit my lip after the words had left my mouth, wanting to take them back. It was Valentine's Day and he had been the only one other than Pince who had realized that I was alone. I looked up at him, watching his messy black hair sway slightly in the wind, being covered in the slow falling snowflakes, and sticking to his glasses.

"I'm right where I want to be," he spoke softly taking my free hand in his. "You must be freezing." He ran his fingers over mine, before letting my hand drop again. I looked down at myself, realizing after a long time that I had come outside without a coat on. I shivered slightly at the realization, causing him to remove his own cloak and place it around my shoulders. "Where's you Valentine?" He asked moments later as I let the warmth and scent of the cloak invade my senses.

"I despise Valentine's Day, so I choose not to have one," replied easily. I looked down at the roses in my hands then back up at him. "These are beautiful though," I commented lightly. I touched one of the pedals of the white rose and gasped slightly as it started to glow.

"Well, if you don't mind, would you like to be mine? I seem to not have one on the most romantic day of the year and seeing as you too also don't have one, perhaps you'd like to be mine?" I looked up at him in shock, was he asking me out? Or was this just for Valentine's Day? Either way I had felt inclined to say yes, for once in my life I felt that the presence of James Potter wouldn't be that bad, it would be… inviting. I smiled up at him suddenly, and for the first time saw past the arrogant cockiness that was usually present on his features.

"Dance with me?" he questioned, waving towards the ice behind me. I raised an eyebrow, watching his hand before nodding hesitantly. I took the hand he offered to me and skated slowly backwards; letting myself me slightly pushed by him until we reached the middle of the rink. He pulled me closer to him, setting his other hand along my waist and repositioning my hand in his. I looked at him, watching his dark eyes through his glasses and the falling snow. There was something different about him that night; something had changed.

He started moving slowly, leading my moves along the ice until we were doing a slow waltz on our skates. I continued to peer into his eyes, moving as he moved, breathing as he breathed, being as he was. I looked over at the flowers I held on his shoulder, then back into his eyes. They seemed to be laughing slightly and I tilted my head in confusion. We stopped suddenly in the middle of the rink, and James pulled my hand from his shoulder and held them in his, holding the roses delicately.

"Do you know what each of these roses signify?" he asked quietly, squeezing my one hand tighter. I looked at him and shook my head; I had never looked for the meanings before. I knew they were something romantic but I had never cared enough to pay attention. He let my hands drop and took the red, thornless rose from my grasp and held it just bellow our faces.

"A red rose means 'I love you', and a thornless rose means 'love at first sight'. I'm giving this to you because I fell in love with you the first time I saw you," He explained. I took a deep breath as he took the white rose from my hand, " A white rose signifies 'innocence and purity', also representing 'secrecy, silence' and the fact that you are 'heavenly'. Together they symbolize 'unity'," He finished taking both my hands again and placing the roses in them. I bit my lip keeping myself from bursting into tears. What was happening to me? Why was I so emotional over such a small thing?

I looked up into his eyes, back to the two roses I held, then back to his eyes. I smiled up at him slightly, "Thank-you". I didn't know what else to say to that. What could I say to something so… amazing? I looked back at the roses in my hands smelling them again, before once more looking up into the eyes of possibly the most romantic boy I had ever met. And I didn't even really like him before that night.

He cleared his throat softly, gathering my attention, "May I kiss you Lily Evans?" He asked so softly I hardly realized what he had spoken before I found myself nodding. How could I refuse the question he asked me? My head moved of its own accord, nodding without me telling it to. His head slowly leaned in towards mine, slowly closing the gap between us.

Before my mind could process what was actually happening, his lips were on mine and I was in a heaven I never knew existed that didn't stay long enough. He pulled away as fast as he had pulled towards me, leaving me with my eyes that had somehow closed, still closed. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes slowly and looked up at James again. I smiled up at him; perhaps my Valentine's Day's were looking up.


End file.
